The Weirdest Form of Writer’s Block

You know all the Oasis memes? “Anyway here’s Wonderwall,” he says as he tips his fedora.

My writing life may or may not be an Oasis meme. It’s just…there are many things that I would like to say [to you] but I don’t know how, you know?

I want to talk about grief. About forgiving someone who is not around to say, “Thank you.” About apologizing to someone who is not around to say, “I forgive you.”

I want to talk about addiction. About deciding when to say, “Hey, you have a problem and I cannot let you keep on this way.” About overcoming the fear of losing that person in order to make sure they get the help they need

I want to talk about suicide. About losing someone to suicide. About having someone tell you they want to kill themself. About having someone tell you that you’re the only reason they’re alive. About deciding when to stop being the only person who knows your best friend wants to die.

I want to talk about love. About knowing that your love for someone is unhealthy, but being unwilling to leave the relationship. About wanting someone and not being wanted in the same way. About being wanted in the same way that you want someone else, but neither of you is willing to risk a friendship that has finally stabilized after eight years of uncertainty.

I want to talk about desperation. About being desperate to have some sort of certainty in your life. About making sure that certainty isn’t another person. About being desperate to feel loved or liked or safe or sane or just okay in general.

Instead, I will say that my Fall Break was fantastic, and that I bought tickets to see Tool at the end of the month. So I’m excited for that.

-HH

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